Slow dancing in a burning room

come away with me

2011-12-19T23:20:00.003+08:00

Hi. I have gotten sick of Blogger and have moved to www.crash-into-me.posterous.com. See you there! =)

change is the only constant

2011-12-13T16:42:00.005+08:00

People change. They really do. Since the dawn of time, change has been the driving force that has propelled humans into the era of civilization. People mature, adjust and refine themselves for the better.

Things that used to mean the world to you 2 years back do not matter now. Things you think you cannot live without now, will come to mean nothing to you in 10 years time. You'll probably laugh about it in the future.

Many things cause change. Time. Distance. People. Realization.

Change hurts. But without change, there can be no growth.

When we say things like “people don’t change” it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that’s up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.

so this song is perfection.

2011-12-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And in the morning, I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?

My biological clock has more issues than Vogue.

2011-12-06T15:06:00.003+08:00

I've been burning the candle at both ends. Sleeping past 4am and waking up around 3pm for the past few days.

"such a victim of circumstance"

2011-12-03T02:01:00.003+08:00

I have never really understood what people are trying to say when they tweet things like "Why, hello there, December! Please be good to me!" or -even more outrageous- "December, hope you'll be less of a bitch than November!"

Sounds to me as though they're all big on the imponderables and perhaps pop psychology-Destiny/Fate/Kismet/the stars (whatever tickles your fancy). And that they have no role whatsoever in deciding how their lives will turn out to be. Frankly, it's utter bullshit to leave everything into God's hands. I mean, if each and every one of us is placed on this planet for a purpose, supposedly destined to be someone recognizable one day, why bother being up and about every morning and pretending we'd rather not be snuggled up in bed all day, catching up on How I Met Your Mother since our future is predetermined by the Universe? The ideal job for us will simply fall into our laps when the time is right anyway, right? Wrong. Heck, if that's how simplistic life is, the notion of chasing your dreams and fulfilling your potential would not even exist, much less heard of.

You are not defenseless against the reality you were thrown into and are now living in. Without a doubt, the happenstance factor does intervene in life, but not to that great an extent as to how we perceive and cope with adversity that comes our way- problems we have to solve, challenges we have to overcome, perplexities we have to understand and conflicts we have to resolve. Mind over matter. Be the change you want to see. Take life into your own hands. For you are the master of your own destiny.

hearts disfigured.

2011-11-28T23:00:00.002+08:00

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write kind of turn themselves into knives. And don't my nerve, you could call it fiction but I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear.

-A Beautiful Mess, Jason Mraz.

feeling too much gets exhausting after a while

2011-11-27T02:16:00.005+08:00

When emotions get the best of you, you're basically screwed.

They are mercilessly powerful, and are easily evoked. They make you irrational. They stupefy you, curbing your capability to think sensibly. They obscure logic. Some people are slaves to them, propelled to extremes, their perspectives and actions driven entirely by emotions.

Then again, without them, we lose our humanity. Emotions exist as a sign that we live for something. Positive ones make us feel good about ourselves, bitter ones, more often than not, help us to realize what truly matters to us. Disappointment, regret, jealousy and all their sore cousins.

Sadly, we can't happily decide the circumstances in which they are allowed to overwhelm us with their presence, or when they choose to manifest themselves as they grandiosely announce their arrival. (Unless you're in complete control of your emotions, then good for you.) Nor can we predict the extent to which they may engulf every fibre of our being, or how long they will prolong their stay. They strike unexpectedly in relentless waves at the most inopportune of times, leaving us crippled over by their gravity.

Which is why, a switch like the one above would be convenient. Really convenient.

bonjour

2011-11-22T21:19:00.005+08:00

So it's been 5 days since WACE has been over. WACE = Western Australian Certificate of Education, in case you're wondering. Or in simpler terms, my final exams.

Frankly, the days of preparation prior to WACE have been far less stressful than those before SPM last year. SPM was yet another major hurdle we had to overcome before graduating from high school ~~except it tested students' capacity to osmose and do the technicolor yawn rather than actual intellect.~~ Probably because for AUSMAT, we had only 5 subjects, 6 less than the 11 I took for SPM.

Also, content-wise, AUSMAT is much less of a headache than SPM. The amount of facts we were required to know in Form 5 is enough to give anyone a cerebral hemorrhage (I've been watching Grey's Anatomy), unlike in college where knowing the book inside out isn't everything. It doesn't suffice; what makes the cut is knowing how to apply the knowledge. AUSMAT loves indirect questions.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited for next year, being in a new environment and meeting new people. But at the same time, I know I'll miss Sunway. I already do, and I haven't even left. Oh well, I guess it's true what they say : Change is the only constant. And quoting Nicole who quoted Ms. Priya, "If you can't adapt to changes, you're gonna struggle to survive." Spoken like a true Bio lecturer.

Anyway, time for Grey's Anatomy again. Till my next post, au revoir!

i have never felt more inadequate

2011-11-10T01:21:00.004+08:00

Learning has no end to it. Putting aside all the unpleasant connotations of this idea (mostly by students), I have somehow managed to give it meaning.

I don't know a whole lot of things. And that's what scares me the most. I'm just a girl, one person out of 6 billion sentient beings that walk on this planet. Day in, day out, trifling things cross my mind.

Oh no, did I inadvertently make her mad?

He's looking exceptionally good today.

I'm starving and craving for IKEA meatballs.

I love her outfit.

Didn't he wear the exact same shirt yesterday?

That was one bloody awesome lecture.

Realizing the extent to which my thoughts are superficial disappoints me.

I feel so disempowered. So limited. I wish to have gone through an education system that focuses more on the present. Emphasis on more.

By this, I mean one that encourages us to explore current pressing issues around the world, one that truly challenges us to think analytically and critically in dealing with these problems-basically, an education system that makes us believe that we can make a change by giving us the opportunity to be involved now.

At the heart of every schooling system, lies the admirable mission and vision of equipping students with knowledge. Knowledge in subjects like Chemistry, Psychology, Biology, Accounting as the ultimate passport to a secure job, which in turn, a few years down the road (depending on the selected course), is used to give back to the society, to contribute to the greater good of the people.

Highly commendable, isn't it, this noble aspiration held by those behind this philosophy?

But what about now? I am seventeen and a half years young and I have the energy and the will to do something, anything, or at very least, be given the assurance that I can make a difference in this world, that I can make a change.

to separate the wheat from the chaff

2011-11-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

The above, dear friends, is a euphemism for "unfriend"-ing people on Facebook. People whom I haven't the slightest inkling of how they initially ended up on my buddy list.

This is a tedious process (going to each stranger's profile and clicking the hateful 'UNFRIEND' button) as there are many such people on my list, but one that I go through whenever I have the time just because- okay nevermind, I have ranted enough on this in a previous post. If you haven't already read it and are curious about my seeming antisocial, you can read it here.

come what may

2011-10-21T16:00:00.004+08:00

So I walked to college today, elated that I've made up my mind to attend AUSMAT night with the best friends after all. Why I didn't consider going in the first place will be explained some other time, for this post is about the last day of college, or more specifically, AUSMAT. I have always known that this day would come, but its meaning has never hit me so hard, until I woke up this morning with a bitter slap of realization that indeed, the dreaded day was here. No classes were held today, as students and lecturers alike were too busy bonding and taking photos to capture the last moments that will be spent together.

It makes me sad, really. Only when we can tell with confidence that something is slipping away, we get scared stiff and we try so hard -maybe a lil too hard- to keep that from happening. We hold on to time tighter, willing it to stay just a bit longer. We run about frantically, arms flailing around madly, gadgets in hand, beckoning people to come into the photo, so that that moment in time -of togetherness and warmth and camaraderie- will be frozen, able to be cherished and reminisced about in the future. But I guess that's just human nature, to not really know what we've got till it's gone. Or almost gone.

This year, I have gained new experiences and learned many things. Patience, tolerance, acceptance and encompassing everything else, friendship. If it had not been for the many good people I've met this year who have touched my life in one way or another -some maybe more than the rest but have shaped me all the same- I honestly cannot imagine how I would've turned out. So I just wanna thank you, all of you. For making yesterday worth remembering and tomorrow worth anticipating. You guys know who you are. :)

I would do AUSMAT all over again if it means we'd see each other everyday, as it had always been, for the past give or take 10 months.

I will most definitely miss all of you.

sometimes, i feel too much. other times, i don't feel at all.

2011-10-09T00:05:00.004+08:00

Okay, so my last 2 posts were about people in general. What I don't like about them. Perhaps I've made an impression on you. And I don't blame you.

At times, when I go blog-walking, and read two subsequent posts on a person's blog expressing annoyance or utter incredulity at how people behave, I tend to be judgmental and brand that person as irritable, fixating too much on people's imperfections and as such not able to see the bigger picture in life, and all the other labels that are conjured up subconsciously and automatically upon taking in complaint after complaint of people's unreasonableness and/or lack of regard for common sense.

But now, being forced to be faced with the aforementioned human peccadilloes firsthand, I will think better of judging people based on what they choose to blog about the next time. People blog for many reasons. The most common purpose of blogging is, I believe, to immortalize thoughts, contemplations, cogitations or reflections on one's life, or life in general, on an online diary. People blog about things they feel strongly about. I don't see the point of blogging if you've nothing significant to say. Somehow I feel that there is an unwritten obligation to all bloggers: either you blog about something and make it meaningful or you don't blog at all.

So, naturally, now unlike before, I do not expect to read happy posts everyday by people whose blogs I faithfully follow. Life ain't a bed of roses. It has its ups and downs. What ticks people off, what makes their day, what excites them, what confuses them, basically anything under the sun that makes them feel will be put into words and expressed via a blog post.

If you have been following my blog and paying close attention to this post, maybe you'll figure out the reason behind my decline in blog posts as of late. I did say maybe!;)

I've been incredibly, unbelievably stupid.

2011-10-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

Do you know someone who only calls or texts you when he/she needs a favor from you? You only exist when he/she needs something. Did a certain somebody's name cross your mind as it registered these words before your eyes?

If not, you're lucky. Cos unfortunately having this person in your life is a burden, both emotionally and physically.

I don't want to believe that you're using me. The idea of it disgusts me. I don't want to be forced to realize that you regard me as a person who is worthy of your friendship only because I obediently do what you ask of me, as and when. That you're taking advantage of me. I don't believe that you are, by nature, a person of such demeanor. Are you asking of me so much because you are willing to do just that much for me?

And I don't understand why, in the past, time and time again, I have given in to you.

There's a first time for everything. Such applies to saying no the next time you impose on me.

Uncertainty is a bitch

2011-10-08T00:03:00.005+08:00

Label me as being importune, but I am so sick of trying to get through to you people, confirming if you're coming tomorrow. Seriously, I am. I don't understand how you cannot give me a straight answer. Yes, I'm coming. Or no, I'm afraid I won't be able to join. I'm not forcing you to make it. I just need assurance. Yes or no. That's all I need to hear. Walk a mile in my shoes and imagine being the middleman or the one who is responsible for passing on the message to the rest of the people about a meetup.

P.S. The meetup is with an ex-lecturer and is concerning studies, so yup, it's important considering Finals is 23 days away.

You tell me you have plans tomorrow morning and might not be able to come for the meetup in the afternoon. Plans with your friends. Well, why can't you can get off early and tell them you have something important in the afternoon, so you can give me a definite yes? Or decide to spend the entire day with your friends, so you can give me a solid no? Why give me all this iffy shit?

You say you'll come tomorrow if you are free during that time. Excuse me? How can you not know if you're gonna be free tomorrow during the decided time? You're a spontaneous* person and you're gonna bail if something comes up tomorrow that inopportunely coincides with this meetup? Very well then. Please help me to understand why in the first place, you claimed to be interested in everything that is going to be settled in the meetup.

What is so tremendously difficult and supposedly painful about deciding whether this meetup is worth your time, and telling me straight up whether or not you will be coming?

Perhaps I shouldn't care so much. You're reluctant to come? Fine. Don't feed me your excuses as though I'm begging you to come. Cos frankly, I can't hear you over all the fucks I don't give.

*I have nothing against spontaneity. In fact, I love it. You know, never making plans, just going with what the weather and mood permits. But please, sometimes you gotta know when to get a grip and make a decision.

and it's not theirs to speculate

2011-09-18T01:02:00.001+08:00

Hi, I'm lackadaisical.

2011-09-06T23:44:00.001+08:00

I'm slightly irked that the Internet connection at the condo is so slow. So slow, even my phone loads faster. Gotta love 3G. So yup, I'm blogging from my phone.
Recent changes in the timetable made by ms. Rose have granted me the privilege of sleeping in on Wednesday mornings and for that I'm ever so grateful towards my Maths lecturer.
We got back our exam results. Our marks have not been finalized, but as of now, I'm satisfied with them. Especially Maths which I surprisingly aced. It is unexpected considering my negative take on the subject following the release of our first sem results 3 months ago.
Got through 2 hurdles today, English trial oral exam and a Psychology in-class assessment based on a movie we watched yesterday. Am super relieved they're over,as I know I now have to direct my energy elsewhere. For something of insurmountable importance, which is the Mock exams coming up in 2.5 weeks time.
I need inspiration.

if you have 2 faces, at least make 1 of them presentable.

2011-09-02T22:19:00.002+08:00

I like doubles. A double prosperity burger generally equates to double the happiness and satisfaction.
Though I'm not sporty, I don't mind a round of tennis. Doubles, while you're at it.
Double scoops of ice-cream on a scorching day is heavenly, as is double servings of creamy chicken porridge when you're famished.

But you know what I absolutely detest? Double treatment. Not sure if it is an actual term, but what I'm trying to get across is how some people act completely differently in the midst of different people. I don't understand how certain people have the capacity to do just that. Such retards might as well make do with writing "HI, I'M SO FAKE, I PUT PLASTIC TO SHAME" on their foreheads in permanent ink to save themselves some dignity, and to spare those around them from their utter hypocrisy. Sure, they may mumble "my attitude is based on how you treat me". This quote undoubtedly holds true in the lives of many, as can be seen by the many retweets, reblogs and status updates of this quote on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook respectively. My comeback to their flimsy defence? I'd tell them straight that all that junk cluttered in the 4 pitiful lobes of their brains has left them slightly confused over how others treat them, and how others just are.
Allow me clarify something. This is directed towards those who dare to step all over others and impose their supposed superiority upon them due to the nature of the personality of the victims. Stereotypes do come into play, so at this point, I'd like to say,

Me being seemingly submissive to your 'witty' satire is not a permit for you to constantly bear that attitude w me. Know your limits,bitch.

If you have suffered a terrible brain injury like the one Phineas Gage endured in 1848 or have had a split-brain surgery that has caused you to have split personalities, then this rant is not directed to you, dear one. But what makes my blood boil is how psychologically sound people can bring themselves to commit to such abominable dimensions.

this or that

2011-07-16T13:51:00.003+08:00

Currently in a dilemma of whether I should switch from iPhone to Blackberry. There's been constant controversy on the net over which is superior and hours of reading reviews on both brands tells me that at the end of the day, it all boils down to your personality and preference. There's no saying for sure which phone is better. Both brands have certainly awed the world with their state-of-the-art technology. Wanting the best out of the device in the palm of their hands that functions as a portable PC has caused somewhat of a craze among hardcore trend followers. The ongoing debate over which outshines the other is indeed exhausting and mind-boggling.
The iPhone is an internationally recognized symbol of status. Boasting the multitude of various applications that Apple has to offer plus it being extra user-friendly or easy to use, the iPhone has won the hearts of millions of users worldwide regardless of age.
Contrarily, the equally enticing Blackberry with the amazing Blackberry Messenger that makes it a class of its own, its awesome qwerty physical keypad, it being the ultimate tool for staying connected with the world, and its overall classy look (I like to think of Blackberrys as the BMWs in the automobile industry), Blackberrys are just as appealing as iPhones.
Sigh, should I just stick with my iPhone?

life's rules on people and relationships

2011-07-13T00:49:00.007+08:00

from being able to communicate just by looking at each other and sitting together in comforting silence, sharing inside jokes and reaching the point in friendship where insults make everything more interesting, to the awkward stage where we exchange indolent smiles when we pass each other in hallways, and finally the disturbing breaking point where we unconsciously program ourselves to be oblivious to each other's existence. When we completely avoid eye contact, see through each other and do not exchange so much as a nod or smile of acknowledgement.

Distance and time, the both of you should be exiled from endurance.

tear gas and water cannons

2011-07-11T13:03:00.005+08:00

Blogging from college again:) Free periods after lunch are the best. Minus the part where Katriyn and I are shushed by the noise controller woman in the library who doesn't know how to smile. Asdfghjkl. This reminds me of a post I reblogged in Tumblr. I swear that site is pro at articulating thoughts we never knew we had. Or perhaps thoughts we never dared to mention. ;)

Scrolling through the insane tweets from here and having a good laugh, I must say.

In relation to the title of this entry, Rekka told us her side of the story on the Bersih rally. It's so awesome to have a lecturer who's a hardcore supporter of the Walk for Democracy and who was in the midst of the commotion (solely caused by the blue suits) on Saturday. The sugar-coated claims in the mainstream media do not bear even half the amount the truth contained in an eyewitness testimony. Suck on that, losers! ;)

tired and uninspired

2011-07-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

serendipity at its best

2011-07-10T23:29:00.006+08:00

I'm relieved to be able to step out of the condo today. Stayed within the limits of the area for the whole of yesterday, as advised by Mum & Dad. I'm not gonna start on the topic of the unnecessary fuss over the rally. I've taken a breather as of yesterday and thus I shall not broadcast my abhorrence of the abominable blue suits attempting to "calm the noble citizens down" now. Have immortalized those thoughts elsewhere.

As usual, I went to morning Mass with Steph, Leanne and Sarah. When we got back, the weather was perfect for curling up in bed and clinging onto the covers for added comfort, so me being me, I slept after lunch. Woke up and went for a swim with the same people from yesterday's episode, and again we created a scene. Always :) We headed to Asia Cafe for dinner, where I met with Joyce and Raymond both from Taylor's. Was pleasantly surprised to bump into ~~Mr.~~ Varun (my ex Bio lecturer) who was there with students from Bio 5. We settled down at Chatime after all but one of the students went back. Joyce and Raymond came along too. Since Varun (feels weird addressing him as such) resigned, I've always had this tendency to lay a guilt trip on him. I know it's mean but hey, it comes in handy 'cause now he might have tuition classes for his wonderful ex-students who miss him wholeheartedly. :D So yeah I'm definitely looking forward to that. I believe I speak on behalf of Bio 2, 3 & 5.

Spontaneous nights ftw.

Okay, time to go into torpor for the next 8 hours or so. Goodnight lovelies!

breathe again

2011-07-10T15:48:00.008+08:00

Went for a splash in the pool (literally. there was more splashing than actual swimming) with Sarah, Wayne & Samuel yesterday evening (9 July 2011). Yes, this date bears an indelible mark on the history of Malaysia. I spent the whole day in my BigBird PJs until it was time to get in the pool. And coincidentally, I had my hair up with a yellow hair tie before jumping into the water. Yes, that was a very necessary digression. Anyway, we had water fights and other ~~silly~~ super fun games in the water albeit continuous stares from the lifeguard and other swimmers. Apparently we could be heard all the way from the 13th floor of the condo, so you can imagine just how much fun we were having. :D

I've never attended swimming lessons before. I taught myself how to swim and though observational learning has done wonders for most people in most areas, I'm pretty sure the way I swim will humor many. It wasn't until 8 something at night when we got up and decided to order pizza. Special thanks to Nicole ♥ for giving me the Dominos pamphlet 2 weeks back. :) It was really tranquil as we ate in the dark by the pool and just talked. I have never done this before, such experiences only existed in books, movies and tumblr. Don't know how we did it, but we managed to talk nonsensically until 1 something in the morning when we reluctantly retired to our rooms only because some of us had to wake up early for church the following morning.

i'm still hungry

2011-07-06T20:55:00.005+08:00

Wednesdays are always relaxing, on the grounds that I'm free during first and third period. Today was exceptionally better, owing to no Math class (second period) as well-Ms. Rosemary did not turn up. Jun Sue and I spent most of the morning at the cafeteria, where it was oh-so-very-happening at the Energy Hub. There are occasional days when people will come to our college with their products and promote them to the student body or anyone that happens to walk through the cafeteria. Today was one of those days. This time, Roxy bags and tops, HL milk, contact lenses and wax strips were flaunted.

A guy in a yellow and white striped tee greeted me today at the stairs. I looked at him and it dawned on me in an instant that I have never seen him before. He sounded really excited, I thought better of not acknowledging him with enthusiasm tantamount to his. I returned his hello and laughed nervously before gently suggesting that he must have mistaken me for a friend of his. He was absolutely dumbfounded by my "unthinkable" claim that I had to oblige him by scanning the library of faces in my memory once again to find even a flicker of recognition. (Judging by the look of utmost incredulity on his face, I could've told him I was really a secret agent working undercover for the CIA or something equally preposterous). To his disbelief and my surprise, the scan found no matches. "He stays at the condo too" one of his friends justified matter-of-factly, as if that was all I needed to hear to snap back to my senses and then everything would click into place. Before I could even collect my thoughts, he gave me brief nod as the crowd dissolved him. I'd really wanted to summon him back and clarify the whole thing. I was curious and he was...confident that we'd truly met before.

Then again for all I know, he might've been pulling a prank on me.

the sun's in the sky, it's warming up your bare legs

2011-07-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

semi-charmed kinda life

2011-07-05T10:29:00.005+08:00

I didn't blog over the weekend so I shall make up for that now. I absolutely love free periods in college-they permit time for blogging and/or loitering around college like a hobo. :D So on Saturday, I was supposed to study for the upcoming Math investigation on Monday, but instead I spent the afternoon at Pyramid with the darlings from Taylor's : Joyce, Raye and PC. I so don't regret it now, 'cause turns out, the investigation requires not much prior knowledge on the topic, but rather necessitates creative interventions to arrive at the answers "intelligently". More of a logic test then. So yeah, wouldn't have made much of a difference even I'd stayed home and revised. :D

Anyway, had a fab time with the fellow ex-Lodgians on Sat. We shall meet up every weekend from now onwards, regardless of assigments/tests/whatever. :) I swear our gatherings are therapeutic. Watched Monte Carlo and it def lived up to my expectations. This weekend, we're heading down to Empire mainly to ride the 5-storey slide. Weekly doses of serotonin-inducing experiences ftw!

Sunday was relatively uneventful. All I remember was yakking and camwhoring with Amanda by the pool.

a beautiful mess

2011-07-01T23:37:00.002+08:00

There are always firsts. The first time you ride a bike. The first time the fervency of first love gives you ~~butterflies~~ pterodactyls in your tummy. The first time you sit on a rollercoaster. All the firsts have the tendency to have your mind reeling from sudden surges of emotions no matter how strenuously you try to curb them. They strike in relentless waves, all the while intensified further by the novel and unfamiliar nature of the experience.

Today was the first Bio period with the new lecturer. I'm sure the class would agree with me that it was...unsettling, to say the least. :( I sincerely do not blame the lecturer, it isn't her fault that we are so attached to her predecessor, so much so that the responses she elicited from us today seemed somewhat..unnatural (owing to the fact that we were were hoping V would materialize right there and then!). That was how I personally perceived it anyway. Deeply entrenched in our mindsets is common knowledge that Mr. V can never be replaced and we are too stubborn for our own good to believe otherwise.

I for one definitely do not doubt the new lecturer's credibility at all. Rather, I admire her audacity in taking up the challenge of being our Bio lecturer in Mr. V's wake. The pressure to be just as terrific as he was (and still is) must be staggering.

love you long time

2011-07-01T17:55:00.005+08:00

First of all, tight, warm hugs to Nicole, Revathi and Amanda. :) They got me a green tea latte from Starbucks today. As of late, I've been down in the dumps so it was a gesture to cheer me up. Towards the end of Bio, I got a text from Nicole, telling me to hurry to the cafeteria, claiming there to be an emergency. Worried as I was, I ran downstairs the second Rekka dismissed us, to find a cup of happiness with my name on it, sitting on the table. Today was indeed a day of love. I was concurrently ~~squished~~ hugged by Nicole, Kah Sim and Faye to the point I was gasping for oxygen the moment I was released. :') Such priceless moments make life simply great.

perk up

2011-06-27T23:17:00.004+08:00

You And I Both-Jason Mraz

To The Beat of Our Noisy Hearts-Matt Nathanson

Love For A Child-Jason Mraz

Perfect-Hedley

Undressed-Howie Day

Valentine-Kina Grannis

Okay the list shall end here. Long lists tend to send people to sleep.

come on skinny love, just last the year

2011-06-26T17:14:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday. Went to church with Leanne and Steph this morning and came back, just in time to see Lina off. She's been granted the JPA scholarship and will be studying Foundation in Pharmacy at Taylor's Lakeside Campus. Lucky her:) Getting to have a breath of fresh air and all. The campus being somewhat like a mall is a definite plus.

So I got the flu and had a sore throat on Friday night, but now my throat's fully recovered and I'm barely sniffling. Talk about a super strong immune system! Lol joking, my speedy recovery is all thanks to Clarinase and copious amounts of water I've been gulping down since yesterday (One of the lab manuals taught me the word copious. Nice.).

In the midst of the discomfort owing to my very congested nose and irritated throat, I miraculously finished up the Psychology research investigation report yesterday. It was supposed to be an ongoing task done within a period of a month, but my state of health deterred me from going out. So stayed at home I did, and lo and behold! The 10-page report was completed. :) Every cloud has a silver lining indeed. Even falling sick, in my case.

I can't wait for Thursday, but then again I'll dread it even more when the day comes. Cognitive dissonance. Rawr.

tribute to the late mj

2011-06-25T16:39:00.004+08:00

I'm not exactly a die-hard fan of his, but his passing was indeed a terrible loss. Particularly so for the generation who grew up listening to him. D: His music, when listened at the right time, can be super uplifting. :)

i'd really like to know

2011-06-23T23:33:00.005+08:00

Why is it when you're really distressed by something, you become even more emotional when people come to you and coax you with comforting words? Simple phrases like "Please don't be sad anymore" and/or "Cheer up, please don't cry anymore" have that intangible power to release the imaginary valve that suppresses your gut reactions. Your sobs intensify to an extent like nothing you can even begin to fathom or ever possibly imagine. It's one of life's most overwhelming feelings.

Maybe it's their empathy that touches your already bruised disposition. You realize that you trust them enough, that they are worthy of seeing beyond what you choose to show others. The anguish, fervor, hurt contained within your fragile body rushes out of your system like water gushing out of a broken dam. You do not hold it in any longer. You let down all your defenses and just...cry all the more.

calm me down, calm me down

2011-06-21T19:24:00.000+08:00

a multitude of casualties

2011-06-21T07:10:00.006+08:00

It's 7.11 on a Tuesday morning and I'm wide awake. This calls for a festivity of sorts. I should make it a point to sleep ~~early~~ earlier every night from now on. It's kinda nice not having to rush like mad every morning and to run to college as if my life depended on it. Haha it may be over-dramatized but as of today, I'd like to be mentally prepared and alert before the first class, not suffering withdrawal symptoms of being dragged out of bed on a rainy morning with the perfect weather for sleeping in.

Everything's so serene outside. There's no sign of life save the trees, occasional passing by of a car or two and I presume, the guard cooped up in the guardhouse. From my room, I have a bird's eye view of the the side entrance to the condo I live in. Fret not, I don't go peering out of the window, studying people that go in and out when I've nothing more productive to do.

The prospect of entering Bio class to someone other than Mr. Varun is immoderately disheartening. Its amplitude is enough to send not only me, I believe, but all his students spiraling into the depths of despondency every time the matter at hand comes to mind. Yeah he's made quite an impression on us. :) It's safe to say that he's the only lecturer that competently connects with students and for that, beyond any doubt, to most, if not all his students, he's earned the recognition of being our favourite lecturer.

Learning is remarkably more enjoyable with him around and now (soon to be), what with his missing in action, the future of our results looks unpromising. Ugh this is making me irrational.

i'm all about them words, over numbers, unencumbered numbered words

2011-06-20T18:15:00.006+08:00

The end of this month and beginning of the next is packed with assignments and tests, all of which are, needless to say really, evaluated. For Psychology alone, there's an extended response test tomorrow and a research investigation report due on the 30th. The latter is no easy task, especially for easily distracted people like yours truly. Then there's an investigation for Maths on linear programming in 2 weeks time ~~(which I know shit about)~~, and for English, a task which requires us to write out a speech within an hour. At first blush, the assessment sounds easy but the catch is that we are to draw the link between ideas proposed in famous speeches of the world and the unseen topic which will be given to us on the spot. And for that, in-depth analysis of the world's most popular, influential speeches given by people like Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Aung Sang Suu Kyi and Paul Keating is required. Plus, awareness of what's happening in the world today, an area in dire need of polishing up on my part. Then for Chem, 2 assessments lined up some time the end of this month/the start of July. Lastly for Bio, a DNA-related task due in 2 weeks time.

All this, and the fact that our Bio lecturer is leaving us for good at the end of next week. :( The gravity of it all is just starting to dawn on me. Yeah, somehow it takes hours for something as consequential as this to sink in.

Mr. Varun, Y U LIKE THAT? :(

i can't sleep just yet

2011-06-16T00:20:00.006+08:00

I'm so used to everything touchscreen that I sometimes I forget it doesn't apply to my laptop. A few seconds ago I actually thought twice before intending to remove dust from the screen using my finger, wary that I would be navigated to another page. Haha.

We had our second Malaysian Studies lesson ~~today~~ yesterday (it's past midnight), which turned out be a total drag, as expected. It was 3 hours, mind you. 180 minutes of looking at slides and taking in information we've learned before in high school. If only it's possible to self-study this subject. It's practical, considering the fact it's history and all is required is storing of the unchangeable facts and regurgitating them during the exam. But unfortunately an attendance of 80% at the very least is the passport to enter the exam hall on the final day. Sigh.

I have an unexplainable desire to go to a concert with the lovelies.

a good listen

2011-06-15T00:33:00.002+08:00

You're a cool breeze and the setting sun. New Year's, the 4th, wrapped into one.
You make me wanna be someone you could look up to.

i should start on math

2011-06-14T23:35:00.004+08:00

Amanda is exhibiting signs that can only be justified by modifications in her genetic composition. Hahaha. (Blame all that gene talk until one o' clock earlier this morning for my arriving at a hypothesis this far-fetched).

Signs/Symptoms:

Calling me a cartoon.
Wailing and asking why I broke up with her. (Personally, I don't remember ever agreeing to be her partner).
Sticking her tongue out and ~~awkwardly~~ positioning her hands in a fashion that she claims is tantamount to a sexy pose.
Attempting to harass me in the midst of my persistence in making sense of gel electrophoresis.
Posting grandiose Facebook statuses using my account.
Forcibly engaging me in frivolous debates while slapping moisturizer onto her face. Okay, we shall at least credit her ability to multitask. ~~Pretty impressive for a transgenic organism, don't you think? :D~~

~~Disclaimer: I'm glad to have met her in AUSMAT.~~

so fly

2011-06-14T02:32:00.004+08:00

Behold, Yee Ping and I are technically experts on gene cloning now. ;) Haha, that must have sounded a tad bit too overbearing. I'm sorry, we're just so excited to find it much more interesting now that we finally fully grasp it. We spent most of the night piecing information from different sites to get the whole picture and producing an explanation which hopefully will not further confuse our classmates on Thursday, the day of our presentation. It's a rather tedious topic, but we were somehow genuinely enthusiastic in learning more about it and could've managed to finish everything within 2 hours had we not ~~wasted~~ spent time laughing at people explaining gene cloning on YouTube. (In our defense, Bertrand Russell did say that time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time). We find hilarity in individuals telling the world what they know... idiosyncratically. :D

Anyway, I'm sad 'cause there's nothing to munch on now. I ran out of digestive biscuits! :/

2011-06-11T17:59:00.002+08:00

Hair,

please grow longer faster.

Love always,

me.

munching on oat krunch

2011-06-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

Exam results are back. I'm reasonably pleased with them, taking Maths out of the picture. I'm blown away by the fact that my impression and perception of Maths has completely gone the reverse direction since high school. I used to genuinely enjoy Add Maths back in Lodge, but now the mere thought of maths 3c/3d in college just makes me want to pop in a serotonin pill every time a math test/exam comes around. But I highly doubt the market synthetically manufactures this naturally-occurring chemical, so simply brush aside my irrationality for now. :)

I took a look at Revathi's math 3a/3b evaluation exam paper this afternoon in the midst of studying for a Psychology test (which turned out better than expected) and had to force myself to stop flipping through the pages, lest getting overly-emotional. A single glance at the questions told me it was similar to Add Maths that we've done in Form 5. At that point, Ms. Rosemary's remark, "Dropping maths 3c/3d for maths 3a/3b will be a great relief for those of you having trouble coping with this subject" resonated in my head. She cannot be any more right. Okay, I shall quit claiming that the maths i'm doing now is out-of-this-world brain-torturing. Indeed, it isn't a subject that anyone can get a firm hold of overnight, but how do you put yourself to the test or exercise your fullest potential if not faced with a challenge, right? In retrospect, guess I've made the right choice in selecting this subject. All's good.

Despite the rather popular and plausible interjection among us ~~skeptics~~ students that nobody should bother practising because practice makes perfect and perfection is impossible to be attained, I shall persevere. Perfection is not what we aim for, it's improvement.

Okay, time to put my words into actions.

Ear candy for you :)

Till my next post, bye! x

craving

2011-06-09T23:36:00.003+08:00

Right at this very moment, I want nothing more than a bowl of freshly made kolo mee from a hawker stall. I'm salivating just typing this. :/ No, the "Sarawak Kolo Mee" they have here just won't cut it. So far, I've not tried any in KL that does the original taste, aroma, and texture justice. It's been so long since I had real food. And by real food, I mean home-cooked food and those mouth-watering ones from Kuching coffee shops.

I shall bring 12 packets of kolo mee here the next time I go back, which is in 5 weeks. Just so you know, it's sort of like the staple food of Kuchingnites.

I CAN'T EVEN-

the dynamo of volition

2011-06-07T18:25:00.002+08:00

Drinking water from the college's water coolers tastes like it's been freshly scooped out of a swimming pool. It smells and tastes like diluted chlorine. Lol, it got Amanda and I worried if they'd stolen the water from the pool at our condo where we live. :D Anyway, hope the water reeks of chlorine only for today, lest more than half the student body have mottled teeth in due time! :o

I'm still in holiday mood. Why is it so difficult to get back to working mode? D:

Oh right, it sucks the fun out of everything. Glad to have figured that out.

On a side note,

*Hands down, you put endorphins to shame.

when sentimental strikes

2011-06-05T22:34:00.003+08:00

Suddenly in the mood to search for song covers on Youtube. My iTunes is in dire need of new additions.

for your entertainment

2011-06-05T20:54:00.002+08:00

The after-effects of deactivating my Facebook account last Friday has not worn off. My account is all weird now. My status updates are not appearing on my page, I can't 'like' fan pages, I'm not receiving the notifications that I should and who knows what else. Okay I'm not gonna go into details of why I deactivated it in the first place and why I reactivated it yesterday, so don't bother reading further if you've read this far thinking I'm going to explain myself. Haha all I will say is, it was a spur of the moment decision.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just delete the account for good. Everyone has thought about this at some point but none of us are man enough to actually bring ourselves to do it. Wonder why this is so.

How can we claim to detest something that we are constantly guilty of spending much of our free time on?

Lol, maybe it's just me who has to work on putting my words into actions.

~~I'm so not mentally prepared for college tomorrow.~~

everyday i'm shufflin

2011-06-05T13:21:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday already and it's back to college tomorrow! Gosh, days do feel accelerated when you're on holiday. I overslept and missed church this morning.

It's sooo hot outside. Kills the mood to go anywhere, so now I'm blogging in bed to the countdown on Rickdees. I spend way too much time on this laptop. Which explains my dizzyness when I woke up this morning. It's not healthy, but Modern Family was too addictive to resist! I finished off Season 1 ~~last night~~ early this morning. Does sleeping too much cause the illusion of the room spinning as well? Hmm.

Reasons why a holiday is the best thing next to pizza:

You don't know what day it is, which is cool 'cause you don't need to know.
Instead of having breakfast after brushing your teeth which cancels out the first action, you can now brush after breakfast and have a minty breath till lunchtime!
You can shower and eat at odd hours.
You can spend the whole day in PJs and/or have your hair resemble that of a mentally deluded woman.
And the best, no assignments or other college obligations!

frozen moments

2011-06-04T19:35:00.003+08:00

Random photos from Kuching :)

after all this time

2011-06-02T19:23:00.000+08:00

the story of us

2011-06-02T01:24:00.003+08:00

I miss everything about home. Most of all, Mummy, Daddy, Belle, Lyn, Jayne and Jaryl! And the crazy friends still studying in Kuching:)
Omg I can't contain myself! This makes me miss him even more dayummm. Can't believe he's already 8 this year. We grow up so fast. :')

Dude might have been to more places than I have! Haha

jump-start my heart

2011-06-01T23:59:00.004+08:00

Gordon and Lina are leaving for Sibu tomorrow so today we acted out our inner kid desires at Lagoon with a few others, 8 of us altogether. They will not be studying in Sunway anymore-they got offered JPA scholarships, Gordon to KBU and Lina to Taylor's Lakeside. (Gasp! Refer to one of my previous posts). Sigh, I'm gonna miss Lina for always being there regardless of circumstance and for being my makan buddy! :) And Gordon with his knack for coming up with the funniest statements and lightening up the mood no matter how serious things are.

Though the rides didn't cause my pulse to race as fast as I would've liked (except for the Tomahawk), today was fun. :) Being chased off the carousel once and out of the water playground twice was embarrassing but hilarious nonetheless.

By the end of the day, we were whacked from screaming for 8 hours on the rides just for the heck of it, so we settled for dinner at KFC, the furthest our legs could take us to. Took the shuttle bus home.

The last thing I vaguely remembered doing upon reaching my room was shoving the clothes on my bed to the chair and plummeting into bed. When I woke up and it was already 11pm. Despite being tired to the bone, it was a day well-spent. :)

digestives

2011-06-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

CONVENIENCE STORE DOWNSTAIRS, Y U NO CONVENIENT?

What kind of a store, ironically called the convenience store closes at 11.30 pm, the almost "peak hour" of gurgling intestines? (By experience, I get hungriest around 2am when I'm still up watching series)

HUNGER AND RESTLESSNESS AIN'T A GOOD COMBINATION. PERIOD.

I shall stock up truckloads of food in my room starting tomorrow.

Hahaha. Tumblr expresses it best. :)

seventeen and invincible

2011-05-31T20:33:00.003+08:00

Watched POTC in 3D with Nicole and Faye this afternoon. It was entertaining, but I would've enjoyed it more had Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley been in it. Went hunting for clothes after that, then milk tea. Originally wanted Chatime but the queue was so long so we settled for Asian Avenue.

Took the bus to Taylor's Lakeside to meet Syin and Clar. I can't explain why, but the moment the campus came into view, I immediately loved it. Maybe it's because of its newness. Everything looks so clean and homely. They have Starbucks, Baskin-Robbins and other places for students to chill in between classes. Did I mention a saloon as well? Plus, it's very open (I prefer the outdoors) and students can go feed the fishes in the lake when they've nothing to do and want to pass time productively. And dayumm, the eye candy there is enough to send anyone into the dooms of diabetes. :D

someday

2011-05-31T01:40:00.001+08:00

spectator ions

2011-05-31T00:26:00.008+08:00

I don't know what's up with strangers adding us up on Facebook. It ain't like Tumblr where more followers=more love.

This is not targeted to you, dear reader. It's to those whose second nature is clicking the oh-so-inviting "Add As Friend" button on random people's profiles in the database. Unless you fall into that category. haha, you probably don't. :)

Why bother checking out the status updates of people you don't know, browsing through their photos, reading what others have written on their walls? Exactly. Why the need for them to be on your already pregnant friend list, not surprisingly comprising mostly of people you don't personally know? That's a question not even a lifetime's worth of pondering can give me enlightenment and peace of mind.

You breathe oxygen too? We have so much in common.

The quote above (from Tumblr) is obviously to satirically spite those who try too hard to find common ground with another person.

We are of the same genus and species. Be my friend on Facebook! :) Oh wow.

Don't bother adding me on Facebook if I don't know you, for it will not be accepted. Fret not, it's nothing personal. I'm sure you're interesting but I'm saving space in my list for people whose existence make a difference in my life. It's exhausting declining friend requests on a weekly basis. Occasionally, I feel bad, so take it easy on me by not requesting to be accepted. Capeesh?

If I know you but not know know you, I won't accept your request either. I'm sure you understand what I mean. I'm anti-social like that, I'm sorry! :)

Time to continue my Nikita marathon. Bye! x

food, not-so-glorious food :/

2011-05-30T01:18:00.003+08:00

I just realized I've not mentioned this before. The last time I checked, which was in March when I went for a full blood test, triglyceride levels in my blood were abnormally high. :/ Major shocker! The normal level is 1 point something, mine was a whopping 3.4. I'm terrified, to say the least, after googling possible outcomes for those with high triglyceride levels. It's just strange 'cause its effects do not manifest themselves via pimples or my BMI which is tending towards underweight and fulfilling the bare minimum for normal. I'm starting to wonder if I may have subconsciously eaten chunky peanut butter straight from the jar the night before the test itself. I hope I have! 'Cause then that would explain the anomalous test results. Nevertheless, even if I had, there's no harm in watching my eating habits now 'cause prevention is better than cure.

credits to joycie for remembering

2011-05-29T23:02:00.004+08:00

You not only stated the wrong formula, but you stated the formula wrongly!

Oh, how I miss Mr. Liong's witty remarks. Dear readers, he used to teach my friends and I Physics in Form 4 and 5. He takes sarcasm to a whole new level. For that and all the other reasons that we know only too well, his awesomeness knows no bounds.

Mr.Liong, I doubt you'll ever find my blog but if you're reading this, know that we miss you! :)

sweet disposition

2011-05-29T21:29:00.004+08:00

Having Starbucks at Baskin Robbins:)

Spent the day at Midvalley with Chiah Syin and Elaine. They're respectively studying at Taylor's Lakeside Campus and KTJ. I love reuniting with fellow Lodgians. Around them, I feel at home. :) It absolutely breaks my heart to realize that we'll never be able to wear our uniforms, go to the same school, study in the same classroom and go through the bittersweet ups and downs of high school as one again. Or see each other everyday again for that matter. We sure went through a whole lot of things together-most moments remembered for being insanely hilarious, some painfully awkward, others downright embarrassing, but epic and priceless moments all the same.

Yes, for you, I'll go through high school all over again. :')

nuff said

2011-05-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

oh and

2011-05-28T17:33:00.001+08:00

It's the first time I'm spending my holidays here in KL, as in I'm not going back to Kuching. Can't wait to go to Lagoon with the lovelies on Wed! ;)

overload

2011-05-28T16:40:00.007+08:00

I've found my ultimate weakness. I'm constantly striving to get things done in the shortest possible time. I keep a mental note of things to do and when I'm attending to something, my mind automatically prepares me for the next thing to be done, so much so that I lose track of what I'm supposed to be focusing my attention on at that point in time. I've especially noticed this about myself today, though I know it isn't the first time I've experienced it. I have to take things one step at a time, go easy on my mind and accept that it is unable to handle or actively process so much information simultaneously. This has nothing to do with stress. The culprit is rather my wanting to be over-efficient. And most of the time, I'm worried that I might forget to do certain things when I'm so absorbed in attending to current matters; other priorities then seep into my consciousness entirely of their own volition. I was going to put my clothes into the washing machine just now but ended up in the kitchen instead 'cause on the way, I briefly remembered that I had to refill my bottle next. -__- Gosh, I need to focus on the present.

no trouble sleeping

2011-05-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

word

2011-05-27T22:23:00.003+08:00

We had to fill in a survey form for Psychology last week, in which we were to rate the importance of certain characteristics that we look for in a potential romantic partner. One thing lacking in that long list of about 20 positive attributes which I realized within seconds was a sexy, delicious accent. Seriously, who can resist that? I have the British accent in mind, just so you know. :)

it's friday, friday

2011-05-27T21:14:00.004+08:00

But no, we do not need to get down on Friday.

Exams are officially over! :) Allow me to relate to you what basically happened over the course of the past 3 days (exam days)

I might have grown an ab or two from laughing so much, despite it being exam week and all.
I slept over at Amanda's. Which explicitly explains Point 1. Yup, I had to carry my bulky comforter over to her unit and stop assuming the whole time that passersby were staring. (We stay in separate towers). She shared in the utter embarrassment by accompanying me in moving my things over.
We had Oat Krunch for 3 suppers straight.
I was so relaxed, it didn't feel like we were having exams! :)

please don't stop the rain

2011-05-24T14:26:00.003+08:00

Chemistry and English exams are on tomorrow. The need to actually prepare for a language exam confuzzles me. I'm supposed to be stressed to the point of pulling my hair out but then for some reason, I'm not. :) After all, at the end of the day, it is not that red '97%' imprinted onto your paper that matters, but the learning. Gaining of knowledge to be used in later life. Seriously, when we get older, nobody is going to give two hoots if you scored 48 or 84 in math when you were in college. This does not mean that we can slack off and live like there's no tomorrow each and everyday. To some extent, exams do test our comprehension on a subject, though not entirely. Think of it as a self-evaluation and not a torturous system solely introduced to deprive us of normal sleeping patterns and a social life. Exams are good in that they reveal to us what we don't know, and test our ability to put onto paper what we do know. As some say, the eternal struggle is to put into written words the concepts and theories that our minds have registered.

Okay, done showing my unconventional stand on exams. I'm currently in the library, not attending to the Chemistry course manual lying open in front of me. I'm obviously blogging from my phone instead. :) waiting for amanda's class to end- we're going to see a lecturer to clear some chemical doubts.

intermediate compounds

2011-05-22T22:34:00.009+08:00

I still wish high school never had to end. I can't even begin to list down the things I miss about school. Maybe it's the new environment here and all, that leads me back to square one. Arriving at this topic more times than is healthy. I don't know.

Some people touch our lives in very meaningful ways, and manage to do so in an alarmingly short period of time. It scares me to think that these people, if circumstances insist we must part ways, will slowly but surely cease to exist in our lives.

We tend to stick with people who find a way into the later part of our lives. This I believe to be true, simply because when we are young, we are constantly on the go. From pursuing further education in another city to getting an internship in another country, landing a stable job possibly on another continent and all the other obligatory stages in between, maintaining previous relationships is no easy job. Distance selfishly does not permit it. Time is another factor. Not seeing each other for too long diminishes even the strongest of relationships. By the end of all that moving around, we would most probably have found a person who complements us perfectly. Likely a person who has been on the same transitional journey towards realizing his/her dreams.

Settling down comes next, then the forging of new bonds with new people in the new place. These are the people who will stay with us the longest, as we'd have found a place in this world and would no longer be packing for someplace else.

Of course we do occasionally bump into old friends. Then comes the small chat at a cafe for an hour or so, and the inevitable, unintentional act of exiting each other's lives again, in the form of a goodbye, unknowingly said in an octave or two higher.

I wish we could select several people we've met along the way and locate them at our last stop so that they can stay in our lives for good.

in spite of impending doom next week.

2011-05-19T18:11:00.006+08:00

My white Apple earphones have gone missing, with a slim chance of returning. It is kind of a big deal, considering how often I use them. Maybe it's superficial to get all worked up over losing a pair of earphones. It's nowhere near as hopeless as poverty-stricken children worrying when their next decent meal will be. It's not losing earphones that troubles me, but the earphones. There are only a gazillion more out there to buy, but it doesn't help that I have an uncanny tendency to be sentimentally attached to certain things I use everyday. The only good thing out of this is that I won't feel the compelling need to watch series on my laptop every night now. Which is pretty convenient 'cause exams are next week.

Anyway, setting aside the aforementioned mishap, today somewhat stood out from the rest of my college days. Let's do a recap.

I've mastered the skill of doing my hair up with a pen, thanks to Nicole. She's such a darling. :)
In fact, she brought me to a place in college called 'The Atrium Garden' (which I never knew existed) where students can study. The environment's conducive so I'll be going there from now on when I've no classes. :)
Despite sitting just beside each other, Amanda and I discovered the ~~superfluousness~~ thrill of whatsapp-ing each other, by doing exactly that. Behold, the blatant manifestation of technology infiltrating our everyday lives. Or perhaps just the result of summing up 2 girls, intense boredom and their mad hope for class to be cancelled. :)
The pink flats I wore today received a bit too much uncalled-for attention. Lol, I didn't realize how bright the pink was when I first bought them.

chemistry needs me :/

2011-05-18T20:29:00.004+08:00

I feel like an old person.
Haha that statement must have looked funny. Before your preconceptions get the better of you, hear me out. I've been listening to Lite and Easy a lot recently. And yup, lately I find myself subconsciously singing oldies. That's it. :) I've never taken a preference for contemporary music, save the ones that still bear meaning. On another note, don't you agree that it's pitifully unfortunate how some artists who produce such sensational, mood-lifting music do not receive the acknowledgement they deserve, while others who sell themselves by consistently composing songs with lyrics bearing next to nothing get to stand in the limelight? What this world needs is fresh, raw talents. For them to be showcased and be awed at. I'm not gonna mention any names in particular. :)
Hmm, I don't know what led to my probings of this subject. Here I am, rather pensively enjoying a nutritious cup of Spirulina oats to iTunes when it just entered my mind.

sepiatone loving

2011-05-17T16:35:00.003+08:00

verbosity.

2011-05-16T21:58:00.007+08:00

I had a dream last night and it featured a classmate of mine from 5 years back. What struck me odd was the fact that him and I had never been close. I haven't heard from him in so long. Heck, I can't even remember the last time we talked. Sure he was my friend, he'd often turn around to ask me Math in Form 1. I'd told him and he had threw in a compliment or two about my supposed intellect. That and the occasional borrowing of stationery on days he had woken up late, been in a rush and forgotten to bring his pencil case. It had been very convenient as I'd sat behind him and always had an extra of everything. Yup, I'd been a goody-two-shoes. Note the past tense. :) He'd joked about my pencil case being a stationery shop. So anyway, that was it. We'd never gotten to the personal stuff. Okay let's call him Tyler.
So in my dream, I had been standing at a long stretch of road and along it, there had been seats. Not many of them, not like the ones at a stadium where people anxiously gather to watch race cars glide noiselessly by. More of like a lemonade stand, except it wasn't. I don't know why there were random seats alongside the road. I'd absentmindedly left my phone there and was already heading away when I suddenly realized. I turned around in time to see a podgy boy mindfully clutching my phone in his fleshy hands, just about to break into a run. I let out a gasp of disbelief and instinctively sprinted towards the bobbing figure a few metres away from me. He could run pretty fast for someone with his bulk and stature. My legs gave way and from the corner of my right eye, I saw a flurry of colour. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I blinked again and my mind registered that it was Tyler, and he was after the boy. I watched, bewildered at the sudden turn of events. His tan, toned legs moved in sync with each other, making the slightest contact against the hot road. The agile runner he was, he was light on his feet and had often represented our school in interschool track events. Within seconds, Tyler had caught the small of the boy's back and seized my phone. Tyler dashed back and handed it back to me. I remember the tangibility of the slight awkwardness that hung before I breathed a thank you. I looked at his face- 2 years worth of unspoken words instantaneously threatened to overflow. Speech seemed a painfully inadequate outlet to get everything out. Tyler barely managed to acknowledge my gratitude, he was stopped short by my alarm. He vanished, everything vanished and I was left to ponder the meaning of it all.

replay.

2011-05-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

♥ Special thanks to Nicole who told me the site to get songs for Blogger. :)

love remains the same.

2011-05-15T00:28:00.007+08:00

Met up with the darlings today. Okay it was yesterday, it's 12.28 in the morning now. Ever since I moved to KL to study, I feel as though I've sorta lost my identity. In KL, I have to be mindful about how I behave. But with them, it's a whole different story altogether. I can let my guard down and act like a total idiot if I want to and still not be worried if I'm gonna be judged simply because we've grown into each other's quirks from spending so much time with each other. Upon talking and just hanging out with the girls today like we used to, it feels like I've found myself again. There's complete loosening of normal inhibitions. Lol, at this point you must be wondering how I act when the covers fall. Or when I'm around people with whom I feel comfortably at home with.

Tiff, Serena, Alicia & Joyce,

I really miss our sporadic outbursts of laughter in class or during lunch at the most random things, our insane talks about anything and everything from boys to potatoes, our silly inside jokes, our trademark catchphrases, expressions and hand gestures, our sharing of love via insults. I just miss our chemistry. Where else can I find camaraderie so indispensably strong?

I could get used to this all over again.

2011-05-14T02:54:00.003+08:00

So I just came back from KL 5 hours ago. It's freaking awesome to be home.

Homely things I have never consciously appreciated before furthering my studies abroad:

How easy it is to find food. There always seems to be something to munch on, no matter where. Jacob's /Julie's in the computer room, Milanos in the TV room, chocolate in my bedroom, etc.
Water at a just nice temperature, gushing down with full force in the shower.
Mad awesome Internet speed.
The cleanliness and order of the house.

postcard from mars.

2011-05-11T23:27:00.003+08:00

Finally done with the citation-laden Psychology essay. Didn't think I'd say this, but at this point, I actually do enjoy paraphrasing lengthy texts. Transforming them into more intelligible paragraphs that maintain the original message in my preferred style of writing. Really, what is more satisfying than poring over writings of others and then comparing your rendition of the same composition to find that yours communicate the ideas more effectively or is so much easier to accept and absorb? (Okay that was a pretty long rhetorical question. Lol, at the back of my mind, I can list several more rewarding experiences. But it still doesn't change the fact that it's a wonderful feeling!) I'm not insinuating that our own penning is forever superior to others'. Preference of writing styles to get a message across differs from individual to individual. Certain words or phrases affect us more than others, makes us stop to ponder harder, captures our attention longer, and thus helps us to accept the propositions made in an essay more readily. Which explains why more often than not, we find that we grasp concepts so much faster if they're written in our own words. The words seem to jump off the page and fit into the curvature of our minds like lock and key. The minds of people working in so many different ways is indeed a fascinating psychological truth.

procrastination is the needle.

2011-05-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

It's 12.44 in the morning and I'm still up on a weeknight. Why? Well I started around 10 and until now, I'm still paraphrasing a paragraph on 'response prevention condition' as a treatment for bulimia patients. That could be due to the fact that Amanda and I spent a good hour or so impersonating and ~~gossiping~~ exchanging views on our lecturers hahaha. So yeah we're both still alive and kicking at 12.44 on a very early Wednesday morning, trying to make sense of horrendously long Psychology-based articles on bulimia treatment. To break the monotony, I've come to write this! :)

guilty as charged

2011-05-09T23:06:00.004+08:00

Mum and practically every authoritative figure in my life has been urging me time and time again to keep abreast of current happenings around the globe, or at least in this nation. It's much easier said than done. I wish I had the discipline to sit down and spend just 20 mins everyday to read the paper or keep myself updated online. Although I still find news inexplicably boring, I know that as much I absolutely abhor the idea of allocating time to connect with today's occurrences, the need to equip myself with contemporary issues is becoming increasingly inescapable, now that I'm already in college. It's difficult when there are just so many guilty pleasures beckoning you to attend to them. Sigh.

intriguing

2011-05-08T21:45:00.003+08:00

I'll tell you what the end of the world will be like. It will be a final moment, both terrible and heartbreaking. Absolute chaos. People running as fast as they ever have, cars filling every road and freeway, phone lines backed up trying to process millions of calls, fingers flying over keyboards, thumbs texting like rapid fire, long lines of people trying to cram themselves into subways and airplanes. All of them trying to tell someone else, "I love you".

I cannot do distance.

2011-05-08T01:41:00.001+08:00

I feel so accomplished. I successfully exited Pyramid empty-handed today. :) Technically, it was yesterday since it's past midnight. Hung out there ~~this~~ yday afternoon with the greatly missed friends studying in Taylor's now. Every single time we meet up, I cannot help but wonder how different things would've turned out had I not abruptly changed my mind at the very last minute to come to Sunway. Not that I don't think about this often. Trust me, I do, all the time. It just strikes me harder when we're all together again.

Honestly, I still don't know how it had happened. I had been pretty sure I'd be heading to Taylor's for SAM after SPM. Had already sorted things out things out with Eldarius so we could stay together with the approval of both our parents.

Then it just happened. Ask me tomorrow or in the next life, I still will not be able to explain how and why. I found myself packing for Sunway.

There's nothing lacking in this college save the the familiar, warm company of you all. You're my kind of people. :) Why had I believed myself to be strong enough to handle distance?

2011-05-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

I second the footnote:)

healthy obsessions

2011-05-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

Internet speed at the condo I'm staying now is unbelievably slow and because of that I'm deprived of the latest Vampire Diaries eps! :( Wish I could fly back home and download the last 2 eps and come back here on monday in time for college. It's a 1 hr 45 mins flight only after all. Lol, the lengths I'll go to watch the season finale. :) Debby's the only other person here (who I know of) who watches the show but we're both on the same boat. Slow internet connection is such a buzz kill. Well, she and My Bio lecturer. I've been supplying him with the episodes from Season 1 right up to now hahaha.

Okay, if Damon dies (omg, even typing it out makes me shudder inside) I'm not watching Season 3 anymore. Lol, only 98% of the female viewers of the show and I, no? ;)

The sexier Salvatore!

hearts move on.

2011-05-06T23:17:00.001+08:00

So I deleted my old Blogger and have decided to start anew with this one.

It's time for a change. For those of you who have read my previous blog, you're probably wondering why I did it since I mentioned some time last year that terminating that blog would be the last thing I'd do.

Well things change.

Sometimes the spontaneity of my thoughts and emotions shifting from one perspective to the next astounds me.